Day Before We Went to China

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This post was originally published in 2007
It may contain stale & outdated information. Or it may have grown more awesome with age, like the author.

The day before consisted of packing, and then driving - predictably. Mostly I played with the dogs or slept, while Yvonne and Mum did most of the work. A lot of the time I chased Silly Billy around the yard with a fishing net. This stopped when it became apparent that she had developed quite a phobia of said net - Mum works for SPCA you see, limiting 'play' options significantly. I did help, a little, when someone caught me before I could slip away. The day before consisted of packing, and then driving - predictably. Mostly I played with the dogs or slept, while Yvonne and Mum did most of the work. A lot of the time I chased Silly Billy around the yard with a fishing net. This stopped when it became apparent that she had developed quite a phobia of said net - Mum works for SPCA you see, limiting 'play' options significantly. I did help, a little, when someone caught me before I could slip away. I think the most fun Yvonne had on the way to AKL was riding the kiddie train, an experience most probably made more enjoyable because of the effects of her anti-motion sickness tablets. Mum said they made her feel 'good', which I think means the same as 'high'. Neither Mum nor Yvonne vomited in the car though, a testament to the pills' efficacy. The worst part of the whole trip to Auckland was walking across the airport carpark because it was dark and I was scared. Luckily we had Gary with us, the ever vigilant protector. He warded off any scurrying nasties with his signature weapon, Smoke of Reeking +10. I practiced my tourist poses while waiting in the departure check-in line. Picture 12 is an excellent example of why one simply must wear at least some reflective material at all times - how else will a casual viewer be able to pick you out in a photo if you have your back to the camera?? In a last minute panic, I couldn't remember if I had the new episodes of Heroes on my laptop - what if they were on my portable HDD, inaccessible for the entire flight!? I checked, and phew, they were on the laptop. Turns out we didn't even watch them. What a waste of precious time that was. The departure form is one of those requiring the use of BLOCK CAPITALS, which I was never taught in school. BLOCK CAPITALS LOOK TOO MUCH LIKE SHOUTING, and I therefore avoid them if at all possible. This means that half-way through a word, I'm liable to switch back to normal case, meaning I have to screw up the form and start again. Evidence of this happening multiple times is clear. BLOCK CAPITALS ARE STUPID! Instead we should be simply required to WRITE NEATLY, MONKEY! Note the mildy amusing colour of he depature gate - green. Green for WOOO I'M LEAVING NEW ZEALAND! It should probably be red, might convince more sacks of money (ooops I mean tourists) to stay and allow that nasty Otorohanga lady whose family owns three of the four shops on Maniapoto st, to accumulate whatever amount of money she would deem enough to bother donating to the local SPCA. Even the guy who works in the petrol station donated some money. Does he own three shops? I don't know. I doubt it though. Cheap. Oh yeah, then we left New Zealand, in a Plane.
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