On the 8th we had our wedding photos taken, which I will describe in more detail in a later post.

Right now I just wanted to tell the world that 杨学友 (yáng xué yǒu – Mr. Yang of Paris Bride) is one superb photographer.

He took 340 photos over the course of the day, and they were all so good that it took us over 5 hours to select the 29 we would keep.

5 hours.

Well done Mr. Yang, and thank you!

Tags: Photography - 摄影师, Shanghai - 上海

I remembered, about an hour ago, that I have Google Earth installed. I was pretty pleased to remember this, as I’m trying very hard to avoid my latest programming assignment. Those assignments are the only ones I avoid, because the hurt my little brain.

Anyway… Shortly after remembering I have Google Earth installed, I also remembered that I was never able to find 锦秋花园 (jÄ«nqiÅ«hÅ«ayuán), which is where I lived while I was in China. 锦秋花园 is a very nice property development. I’ve mentioned before, the security there is excellent. They guards are all dressed in military-looking uniforms, and apparently have all been in the army at some point. They are very efficient. I also said earlier – I would not want to irritate them too much.

You can view this on Google Maps here.

Across the road (to the south) one can see the Shanghai University’s 宝山(bāoshān) campus. It is large. I also found the $2 park, which can also be seen on Google Maps here.

Worth every penny

That is all I have now, I’ll add some more later.

I guess I’d better start thinking about my assignment.

Tags: China - 中国, Google Earth, Shanghai - 上海

If manliness is measured by the amount of foreign festivals one has experienced, then last Thursday I became entitled to a bushy lumberjack beard, as this was the first day of Chinese New Year. I’m not going to wear a lumberjack beard though, to Yvonne I’m hairy enough, simply because of my race. A lumberjack beard would be too much, I’ll save it for the future, in case I ever need to “spice things up”.

Uh, New Years. Yeah it started with dinner, there were dinners in the middle, and it ended with dinner. There were a lot of dinners, and every night was filled with explosions.

The first night, we had dinner at home. Apparently the food was a kind that is only eaten at New Years. As I am foreign, however, for me it was no more or less exotic than the other food I’d eaten. It did taste nice though.

The next day we went to one of Yvonne’s relative’s houses for dinner. As it was New Years, I was allowed to drink beer without being called an alcoholic by Yvonne. Again, the dinner was nice. On the way to the relative’s house we walked through Shanghai’s industrial zone, and I was impressed by the seriously high roads. Really high roads, like 50 m high. Crashing off one of those would be certain death. As we were waking under it, it didn’t happen. I took a bunch of photos of the roads, to prove I’m not making this up.

We had some other dinners as well. At a dinner with Yvonne’s Dad’s side of the family, there was Chinese Whiskey. According to Yvonne’s Dad, I am good at drinking. I tell them this is because drinking heavily is part of western culture, and that by our standards I am a cheap drunk. Thinking back, maybe this was offensive to them, since they said I was good at drinking, and I said that actually I wasn’t. Maybe they think that I think that they are bad at drinking, and because I said that drinking heavily is part of western culture, maybe they think that we think that people who can’t drink very much are somehow lacking? Maybe I’m just mental, and the only one who considers things like this.

What else happened? Fireworks. More fireworks than I’ve ever heard at one time. Sounded like we were in the middle of an artillery barrage. Fireworks we can get in New Zealand and pathetic. Here one can buy (cheaply) any type of firework one wants. The most popular was what I call “Death Box”, or a 40 cm x 50 cm x 40 cm cardboard box with a fuse. One lights the fuse and takes cover. About 20 seconds later, a succession of popping noises can be heard, followed by a reddish streak rising into the sky (hopefully, anyway – I saw some explode on the ground), then exploding. I question the logic of packaging so many individual bombs in such proximity.

* * *

We leave for New Zealand tomorrow.

China has been fun, I look forward to coming back next year.

Tags: China - 中国, Chunjie, Shanghai - 上海, Spring Festival - 春节

Last post I mentioned that Yvonne and I made an igloo. That statement was true. Our tools were: one bucket and one spade. It took about two hours.

I thought I’d have more to say about it than this, but I don’t.

Below are some pictures of the igloo.

Yep, an igloo in Shanghai.

Tags: China - 中国, Shanghai - 上海, Snow

Haven’t written for awhile, I’ve been away at a course. The course was at Shanghai University, and was helpful. It was a Chinese course, and ran for two weeks. Most of the material I had covered before, but as we used a different text book, each day was filled with about 15 new words for me to attempt to memorize. Of course there were some grammar points that I had not come across before, and I learned yet another way to say “but” – “不过”. Now I know about 4 ways to say “but”. This type of thing is one of the hardest aspects (I find) of learning a language. One learns enough to have a short conversation quickly – so long as the conversation partner uses only the variations that one has learned. Even for a hard-working student such as myself swiftly learns that language “in the field” is a different beast to language in the classroom. I know how to say a lot of things, but I can understand far, far less. Like English, Chinese has 2~5 different words that mean essentially the same thing. Technically they’re different words, but for a novice the difference between “popular” “famous” “acclaimed” “infamous” “renowned” is not large. This means that I often have to get people (Yvonne’s parents, they’re the only people I try to have actual conversations with) to repeat themselves using variations of the same words, as I’ll often know what they’re talking about, I just won’t know it because they’re using words I am not familiar with.

Two days before classes had begun, Yvonne and I went to the dorm and paid my fees. They had neglected to mention that bond was required, luckily we’d learned from the last week of payment trials and had brought an amount of money far in excess of whatever extras we imagined they’d tack on. Bond was 800å…ƒ, and we got it back afterwards. When payment was finally over, we went up to my room, where I was doomed to live for the duration of the course.

Contrary to my expectations, the room was quite nice. I’d give it a 2.5 star rating. It consisted of a bedroom/office with a desk, a bed, a TV, a chest of drawers a cupboard and a water heater thing and an ensuite. There was also an air conditioning unit, which was welcome. I immediately set the unit to its highest setting, 32°C, where it stayed until Yvonne found out and told me off. When I had unpacked my laptop, and thrown the rest of my baggage into a corner, I announced that I had settled in, and that we should find a supermarket. The closest was just across the road from the nearest university gate, and from it we bought various snacks and some water. The water in my room tasted like dirt and had a yellow-brown tint. I didn’t drink the water in the room.

The area surrounding the supermarket was filled with small restaurants and other student orientated stores, none of which interested me. On our way back to the room we had dinner, at LEM. LEM is short for 乐而美 – lè’èrmÄ›i, and is a KFC clone. I ordered a student meal, I forget what Yvonne ordered. The food was OK, good enough for me to return a number of times throughout my stay at the university. After eating I accompanied Yvonne to the bus stop, then played Battle of Wesnoth alone in my room. Battle of Wesnoth is a turn-based strategy game. It is free, and runs on Mac, Windows or Linux. Though it is free, the quality is still high, and is a very enjoyable game. After completing some of the campaigns, which teach you the basics of the game, I’d recommend moving on to multiplayer.

I didn’t have the internet in my room however, so I just played single player. To use the internet on one’s own computer, one is required to install some software, which is Windows XP or Vista only. There were three computers in a room on the first floor for communal use though, which meant I was able to check emails.

The next day I had to get up at 8 AM to pay my fees and collect my text book. This all went relatively smoothly. At one point, after successfully paying my fees, I was told to sit on the ground floor and wait for the rest of the foreign students, which I did. I had been sitting for about 30 minutes when a different person came into the room and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was waiting for the other students, and he gestured that I should follow him. We went to the room I was originally in, and I was told to sit in a different chair. After waiting there for about 20 minutes, we (some other students had arrived by then) were taken to a small room where our Chinese competence was assessed. I was put into the B class, which is better than the A+ class. After this we were given our class schedules, and told that we were finished for the day.

I went back to my room and played Battle of Wesnoth, then watched a movie.

The next day we had our first class. I made sure I arrive just on time, so I wouldn’t have to sit with a bunch of people I don’t know and exchange small talk. The demographics of the class were: 8 Germans (one male), 4 Japanese (two male) 1 Korean (male) and myself (New Zealand). Note: some of my classmates were not present for the photo.

The teacher spoke mostly Chinese, and we covered a chapter each lesson. There was little homework, so at night I either watched documentaries/movies or played Battle for Wesnoth.

The course was fun, and helpful.

Later I’ll write about how I got food poisoning from Japanese food, my new dictionary, and an igloo.

Tags: China - 中国, Shanghai - 上海, University - 大学

Before coming to China I applied for a scholarship to study at a University here. I was successful, and since I came to China have enrolled in a short course at the Shanghai University. Applying was no problem, that was sorted out very quickly. Organising the payment, however, has proved to be more than a little irritating. Yesterday we went to the International Student’s Center with all of the required documents, and asked to pay. There appeared to be only two staff members working, one was busy with an American woman, who had forgotten where she was, and was trying to use English. I thought it was a little funny, as she would ask a question in English, and the man would answer in Chinese. Yet she continued to make requests in English. She became more and more upset, and was crying by the time we left. I don’t know what she was trying to achieve. Anyway, the man we were speaking to told us that we’d have to go to a different office to pay, as the woman who handles payments was out. He was kind enough to accompany us to this office. When we arrived, we were told that the woman wasn’t there either. As we were leaving, we ran into her, and asked if we could please pay my fees. She said that we could, but they only accept cash. This was just great. We were short by only 200å…ƒ. We asked where the nearest ATM machine was, expecting to hear that there was one on-campus. This was not so. The woman told us that the nearest machine was “just up the road.” We thanked her, told her we’d be back soon, and left.

The walk to the ATM machine took at least forty minutes. Not only did it take a long time, it was also quite hazardous. The area is under heavy development, which means areas of leveled rubble, no footpaths (one must walk in the bike lane), and heavy machinery. All of this requires one to have three sets of eyes, as buses don’t slow down, no matter how many people are walking on the side of the road. When we finally arrived at what we thought was the ATM machine the woman was talking about, we found that it was out of service. So we kept walking. We eventually found a working machine, and started the long trek back. I got in trouble for taking photos, as we were apparently in a hurry.

When we arrived at the university, I discovered the reason for our haste – the woman seemingly works thirty-minute shifts, she had gone home. The man we dealt with earlier, while typing an email in Japanese, told us to come back the next day. GREAT!

* * *

Annoyed, we went from the university to town, where we spent some time looking in shops. We had dinner at a Korean restaurant, where I had a glass of Korean Ginseng Whiskey. That whiskey was so strong, it was difficult to drink. Each sip burned my mouth like acid, but I drunk it all. After dinner we went to Pudong, and looked in more shops. Yvonne bought a nice set of formal clothes, so she will be able to win at job interviews. Finding the right set took quite some time. Before going home we had a snack at McDonald’s. I had a “fresh vegetable beef burger,” which is known as a Quarter Pounder in western countries. The only difference is the addition of cucumber.

On the way home I took some photos of welders welding.

On Sunday I start my course, hopefully it is more organised than our first impression leads us to believe.

Edit: course was great.

Tags: China - 中国, Shanghai - 上海, University - 大学

Today I was woken up by Yvonne telling me that we were going to the place from which one may buy balls. Not the type you’re probably thinking of, but the type that one may roll around in one’s hand. According to Yvonne only old men use them, but I’ve had a set for ages (Grandparents bought them for me from Singapore). I didn’t know why we had to get up so early to buy balls, but Yvonne allowed no argument. We took a bus, then another bus to our destination.

We got off the bus and walked into a rather bustling market area. The predominant colour was red, from hundreds of new year’s lanterns. It seems that most of the shops sold those lanterns. Walking into one of the stores was like descending into the forest of another world, a world in which instead of trees forests have desks, and roofs without insulation, and instead of vines hanging from the “trees”, there are hundreds of new year’s lanterns. That analogy should go down as one of the worst ever. Maybe I should have just said this: there were a lot of new year’s lanterns, everywhere. I thought that this was the place we were to spend the entire day, so I was slowly wandering about, feigning interest in the store’s wares. I later found that I was wasting my time when Yvonne pointed to a big gate that the majority of the crowds were heading towards, and told me that it was where we were going for the day. I was a little confused, as it looked a bit too “up market” to be selling balls, but I didn’t argue.

The place was called Yu Yuan, and is apparently the only site of cultural significance left in Shanghai. It was pretty much just shops in new looking old-style buildings. I thought this was quite amusing, seeing old style buildings with big KFC signs being prominently displayed on the side of them. One building was a Starbucks. We went in and bought a Caramel Latte, which was delicious. All of the staff at every Starbucks I’ve been to (two) have spoken workable English. One time I tried to order in Chinese, and it too far longer than loudly saying “Latte Medium” would have. Instead I repeated myself three times, then labored through an enquiry about how one says “latte” in Chinese. Turns out it is natie. I recognized the “na” character, æ‹¿, but not the tie, 铁. After I heard the staff member say it however, I recognized it as the second part of “subway”, 地铁. Silly me. This time Yvonne did the talking, which was much more efficient. I also got her to ask whether the iced coffees had more caffeine than hot ones, as I wanted a real kick. The iced ones are stronger, take note.

After buying wonderful coffee we crossed the oddly shaped bridge to the main attraction. Tickets were 30å…ƒ. It was worth it, I guess. Yuyuan was quite big, and very pretty. Its style was different to the buildings we saw in Beijing, but only slightly. The roofs were black, Beijing’s were brown. Also it wasn’t as cold. I took a lot of photos as well, go have a look.

One thing worth mentioning is the number of white people there. It was the only time I’ve seen Chinese people outnumbered. Most of the white people were Russian. I saw two Americans, a couple of Italians, and maybe ten Russians. It was interesting to hear the Chinese guides speaking Russian/Italian. The Russians scowled at me when I slurped my drink loudly, so I made sure to slurp even more loudly. Take that, Boris.

On second thought, maybe the Russian wasn’t scowling at all. Maybe that was his standard expression?

My favourite part of Yuyuan was the pond. If you’ve been reading this blog for a little while, I doubt that will come as a surprise. The pond had a little waterfall, and some fish. In short, it was perfect.

Other cool things in Yuyuan were: Dragon themed walls (naughty, according to Yvonne. At that time only the Emperor was allowed to use Dragons), old trees, small trees, and creepy lions. One tree was over 400 years old. It was black, and did look its age. There were a lot of small trees around, all well pruned. The lions near the exit of Yuyuan were rather strange, quite creepy in fact. Actually, the whole place was quite strange, in a subtle way. All of the doorways in white walls were weird shapes, there were Dragons on the walls, buildings had little characters on top of them, and the place was filled with Russians. My spine tingles at the memory.

After looking at everything we realised we were quite hungry, so we left and crossed the oddly shaped bridge again to get some lunch.

While walking towards Yvonne’s chosen food source, we passed a small stall that sold, among other things, camera tripods. I’ve been keeping an eye out for a particular type of tripod, one with short but flexible legs. They had one such tripod, and after a small amount of haggling we bought it for 25å…ƒ, a price equal to one coffee from Starbucks.

Yvonne wanted special dumplings, which required queuing for about half an hour. When we finally got some we found that they weren’t that special, Yvonne’s mother’s are much better. We ate them anyway. Then we went to a restaurant that sold bigger dumplings with straws. One is supposed to drink the juice from the dumpling. These weren’t very nice either, though they were very cute. Each dumpling cost more than a coffee from Starbucks – 25å…ƒ. We left without finishing. Yvonne then bought some strange pudding that I didn’t taste. It was gooey.

Now was the time to look for suitable balls to purchase. We left the Yuyuan area, and re-entered the bright red shopping area. Hidden behind all of the stores was a very large, three storied warehouse filled with small stalls. The stalls sold various different things, from souvenirs to knitting essentials. We spent quite some time here, asking around for balls. We also bought some little things for people back home. One of the storekeepers told us that balls were available from a store just outside the warehouse, so we headed there when we became tired of the warehouse.

After some searching we managed to find the store the man was talking about. They did indeed sell balls, and I bought a pair of steel ones. They were 5å…ƒ each.

On our way to the bus stop we stopped at a cafe and had some more food. Yvonne ordered the Cuboidal Toast for me, and had some yellow buns and rice soup for herself. Cuboidal Toast was strange only because of its shape. Everything else about it was what one would expect from toast – butter, jam… oh, and a scoop of ice cream. Totally normal. When the waitress brought us our drinks, she got confused when we asked which was the coffee and which was the tea – she told us there isn’t any difference. There was, and I quickly identified them. I finished eating before Yvonne, and amused myself with my new tripod.

Our business in this part of town concluded, we took a bus to a more familiar area, one with Watson’s. Yvonne asked me if I wanted to “have some fun.” I said that I did, and was led into “Tom’s World,” which is an arcade. It was very colourful, and quite large. I played a manly game involving guns ‘n’ killing, while Yvonne played what I would call “kiddie slots.” We spent quite a bit at the arcade, but we also had fun. Whether the fun was proportional to the fee is not important.

When we had finished with the kiddie slots, we went outside and I played with the tripod. I took three photos, then the battery went flat. This was our cue to leave.

Tags: China - 中国, Culture - 文化, Shanghai - 上海, 豫园

I haven’t really done much of any real interest since the last entry, so instead of wowing you with lies about things that didn’t happen, I’ll just type until I get bored about whatever I want. Sure, lies about awesome exploits would be more interesting, but I don’t want to ruin my “online reputation”. Just kidding. The real reason I’m not going to write a whole lot of lies is because I know too many people would believe it, and waste my time not understanding when I told them “it was a joke, I was bored.”

So… what have I been doing lately? I went to Cybercity again, because I’m addicted to the place. Also we had to get a memory card for Yvonne’s new camera. Don’t think that all we bought was what we intended to buy, oh no. Our intention was to buy a memory card, but we left with a memory card, a screen protector, a camera bag and two keyboard covers. This time our favourite salesman was there, so we didn’t shop around at all. The memory card is a Kingston 4 GB – 380å…ƒ – NZ$62.70. I thought this was an OK deal, but I haven’t done any research. I forget how much the rest cost, not too much though. 4 GB is a ridiculous size. At the highest quality setting we can take 996 photos, or 32 minutes of video. This is a huge improvement, from 51 photos at full quality on the old camera. I will now be documenting each step I take outside. When we were choosing the memory card, the salesman asked to see the camera. He saw that we lacked a screen cover, and while asking us if we wanted one, he fixed one to the screen. We saw that it wasn’t coming off in a hurry, and mentioned that his sales technique was effective. His English is very good, much better than average. It is good enough for him to get the idea of what Yvonne and I are talking about, when we use English to discuss whether or not whatever item we’re looking at is worth buying at the given price. He’ll use this information to calculate a lower price, or interject with information about the product in question, showing that he knows what we’re talking about. About the camera case – we had one when we came in! Now we have two.

By the time we left, night had fallen. Yvonne wanted to go pay her respects to Kanebo, so I trailed along behind. I sat on an uncomfortable stool while Yvonne talked about different methods of worship. Eventually she decided on a suitable monetary sacrifice, and received her blessing, a bag filled with special paint. I often see her kneeling alone in front of a mirror using these paints to “pray.”

After the make up store we decided to go home. On the way we passed a building, that during the day looks rather unremarkable, aside from the fact that it has a big sphere sticking out the front. At night, however… It is transformed into an amazing orb of light. I took a video of it, you can see it here.

* * *

When I am not out doing things, I’m sitting on the couch (my office) making websites.

The websites I have made are:

Pages of Interest (this site)

Waikato Golden Key

Taejitsu

* * *
Also, I’m announcing the beginning of the “Toilets Series” photo page, where I will post photos of toilets. The quality range varies greatly in China, some are absolute luxury, some are simple holes in the ground. Some of the holes in the ground are still pretty luxurious, you’ll see what I mean in the future.

Tags: China - 中国, Cybercity, Shanghai - 上海, 徐家汇

The time had come for me to meet Yvonne’s friends. I had declined an invitation to a karaoke evening last month, citing cultural differences. Actually I just don’t like singing unless I’m really drunk, even then, I’d need a good reason. Tonight they were just having dinner, so I went along. We arrived in town early, and spent about an hour searching for DVDs, as the ones we bought with the DVD writer didn’t work for what I wanted them for. We couldn’t find any though, so we went to Watson’s, and Yvonne inspected their merchandise. After approximately one eternity Yvonne announced that it was time to meet one of her friends. He was nice, and tried his best to talk to me. When they had caught up we walked to the restaurant, which was on the twelfth floor of the Samsung Castle. The lift ride to the twelfth floor was awesome. There are a lot of glass elevators in China, same in all but function as the Great Glass Elevator in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

The restaurant itself was OK, not the best I’ve been to, but not the worst either. We sat down, and Yvonne’s friends slowly arrived. I was introduced to them all, and remember all of their names perfectly. My favourite was Yvonne’s friend’s husband. He is a police officer, and made the most effort to talk to me. Half of the restaurant was filled with people obviously taking part in a karaoke competition. Most of the singers were bad, all of them were very loud. The meal was OK though.

* * *

The next day we had dinner with Paul at the Golden Jaguar. This time I drunk some beer. After dinner, Yvonne and Susan wanted to go to karaoke, so we walked around until we found a suitable venue. The karaoke bars are interesting, consisting of a reception area connected to a long corridor that has numerous small rooms attached. each room has a TV, a table, a karaoke machine, two couches and some speakers. All of them smell strongly of cigarette smoke. When we were finally assigned a room, we were told that the minimum order was 25å…ƒ per person. We bought about five premixes. While Yvonne and Susan sung, I looked through the available songs. The machine had a lot of songs, mostly pop. I didn’t find anything I’d be wiling to sing sober, so I didn’t. On the elevator ride to the bottom floor, Paul beat boxed for about five seconds, which caused the crowd inside the elevator to go silent.

While we were waiting for a taxi, I was accosted by a woman selling flowers.

* * *

The following day we had to get up at about six-thirty, to go look at Old Shanghai. We took a bus, then various subway lines, to the Bund, where we waited for some of Yvonne’s relatives to pick us up. While we were waiting we watched a group of middle-aged people dancing, which I thought was weird considering the air temperature – minus two degrees. I bought a coffee as well. We were going to have it in the cafe, but they also have a minimum limit. Instead of buying drinks that the others didn’t want, I got the coffee to go. The coffee was OK, it didn’t have any sugar though. I couldn’t be bothered going back into the store to get some, as I didn’t want to waste energy in case the sugar cost 100元…

When the family arrived, we piled into the van and drove for about an hour. While driving to the car park, we were continually “approached” by people, who would make “roll the window down” gestures. If the window was rolled down, they would shove a business card in the driver’s face and start jabbering about how great their restaurant was. We just laughed at them – a man running alongside a van, yelling about his restaurant is funny. After we had parked, a woman convinced us to check her restaurant out. We accompanied her to a waiting van, and were driven into Old Shanghai. Apparently, the woman said she’d have our admission fee waived, but I don’t think that happened.

Old Shanghai is quite nice, filled with old buildings. There are various canals running alongside the streets, and one is able to take boat rides along them. We took one such boat ride. We passed a boat filled with musicians, who were being paddled up and down the canals, playing music all the while. It was very cold, I don’t think the musicians would have been very comfortable.

It seems that all of the houses have been converted into either shops or restaurants. The shops sell a variety of typical Chinese souvineers, none of which we bought. The parents of the cute little boy who was with us bought him a gun-thing that fired a soft missile-shaped projectile, and a Chinese-style hat, which I can be seen wearing in one of the photos.

When we were hungry we walked to the restaurant owned by the woman who drove us to Old Shanghai. The food was pretty good. I haven’t really had bad food this whole time I’ve been in China.

After lunch we walked around Old Shanghai some more, until whoever was in charge decided it was time to go. From Old Shanghai we drove to a large shopping area filled with outlet stores. There were about 50-60 outlet stores, brands like Armani, Barbary, Gucci and the like. One suit was 10,000å…ƒ, or enough for a cheap car. We looked in a few stores, until the boss decided it was time to move on again.

We ate dinner at a restaurant specializing in Beijing Duck. The food was delicious, and when the duck came, it came with a chef who chopped it up in front of us. The toilets were good too.

Among some of the food that isn’t available in New Zealand, during that meal I ate: fish stomach and alien prawn (I call it alien prawn, I don’t know what it’s actually called, it looks like an alien though).

Tags: China - 中国, Culture - 文化, History - 历史, History - 历史, Shanghai - 上海

Before I came to China I made a list of things that I wanted to buy while here. The list included an external DVD drive, and buying that was the plan for the day. We went to Cyber City, home of about a hundred or so small technology stalls. I’ve found that the general rule with this place is that the further one goes into the store, the cheaper the prices will become. I guess this is because the salespeople know that customers are likely to walk to the furthest stall from the entrance only once, so if a customer comes to a stall near that furthest point, it is imperative to get their money at that time, as they won’t be coming back. True to this rule, as we went deeper into the building, the price for the same DVD writer dropped. The DVD writer that was within our price range was a Panasonic DVD±RW designed for laptops, packaged as an IBM. It is small and powered by USB. The first salesman gave us a price of 580å…ƒ + 10 Sony DVDs, the next was 520å…ƒ, without the DVDs. One floor down the price was now 460å…ƒ, two stalls later it was 430. On the lowest floor we stopped at a larger computer stall, one from which one may purchase custom-built computers. We asked a salesman how much he would sell the DVD writer if he had one, and he told us that the cost price was 360å…ƒ, which meant the cheapest he thought we could get it for was about 390. We continued along this floor for awhile, and were offered the drive for 360. Though this was at cost, we didn’t like the saleswoman at all, so we didn’t buy from her. Instead we went up to the top, the only floor we hadn’t yet trawled. We came to a particularly small stall and started talking to the young saleswoman there. We asked her about the drive, and she told us that she didn’t know much about it, and got her workmate, who came over quickly. He told us that he’d sell it for 420, and there the haggling began. Eventually Yvonne got it down to 400, which was still a little high. He offered to give us a discount on some DVDs if we bought it at this price, and got a pile of 50 from under the counter. He also spent a long time explaining to us that other people in here would likely be selling fake DVD discs, and we should know how to tell the difference. To make his explanation easier, he went to another stall (too far for us to see which), and got some fake DVD discs. He showed us the fakes and compared them with the genuine one that he was offering. We were pleased to be shown this, but the drive itself was too expensive. We told him this and started to walk away, which made the salesman’s face fall like he had just found out his mother had died. I was searching for an excuse to go back and buy it from him when he called us back and said he’d sell us the drive and the discs for 520. This was acceptable, and after some more haggling, because Yvonne likes to, we bought it for 510å…ƒ. The writer claims that it is IBM, but I did some research later, and it is actually a Panasonic wearing an IBM cover. Exactly what we wanted.

As we were walking down the stairs, I remembered that I had seen stalls selling hard clip-on covers for Macbooks. While in Beijing my laptop travelled everywhere with me, as I would fill the camera’s memory card with photos too fast, and would need to transfer them to the laptop before being able to take more. The frequent removal from the laptop bag, and subsequent replacement caused the computer to get a few small scratches, which disgusted me. We looked in about 5 different stalls, all of which sold different variations of the same product. All that searching turned out to be pretty pointless however, as Yvonne wouldn’t let me buy the cheaper one. This meant that I had four colours to choose from, reduced from about eight. In the end I chose blue. It was about 280å…ƒ, but I think it was worth it, as the laptop can’t be scratched, and has an additional layer of protection if it is dropped. Also it looks better, not that I can see the cover most of the time, as the laptop is open with the screen facing me. If I get a job I’m going to buy a keyoard cover as well, as pimping my laptop makes me more of a man (hey, I don’t have a fast car – gotta pimp something, right?).

* * *
The next day was Christmas. As I was interested in what reception Christmas had received in China, I asked Yvonne if we could go to town on Christmas day. We went to a restaurant with her parents, then walked about for awhile. Christmas in China is similar to our western tradition in that it provides a reason for shops to dress themselves in red and white, and announce that they are having a sale. There are Christmas decorations everywhere, and one mall had a white guy with a snowy beard blowing bubbles. He was wearing a gold outfit though. I think the man was part of a performance group, because other acts included a living statue and a man dressed in a monster costume. It drew a crowd, but wasn’t very “Christmassy.” Many store have hideous Christmas music. Christmas day was just like any other day, not like New Zealand. On Christmas day in New Zealand, if one goes into town one doesn’t see anyone, apart from maybe the odd police car. In Shanghai all the stores were open and filled with people.

Before lunch we walked around some incredibly opulent malls. In one mall we were separated from Yvonne’s mother, and Yvonne had to go look for her. I waited outside for about twenty minutes with Yvonne’s dad. Across the road from us there was another consturction project underway, and Yvonne’s dad mentioned that he’d rather they built a park than another high-rise. He also said that to begin construction, the company must prove to the Shanghai authorities that they have at least 1,000,000,000å…ƒ available, to make sure the company is capable of finishing the building. I didn’t actually understand that, I had to wait until Yvonne came back to translate. I can only count to 9,999 in Chinese. He also said that when subway line that will go through Baoshan (the suburb in which they live) is complete, it will take fifteen minutes to travel from Baoshan to this area, instead of the thirty minute bus ride followed by a ten minute subway trip that is required now.

Lunch was great, we ate at “The Golden Jaguar,” which is a large buffet style restaurant. There were six areas, each had a different style of food. In one area there were two chefs at two large hot plates. Across from them there was a range of raw meat and vegetables, and one could choose what one wanted and have the chef cook it right there. Another area was devoted to Japanese food, and sushi, sashimi and other weird things were available. Yet another was devoted to roasted meat, with pork, duck and chicken. The desserts available were also excellent. The thing that really set it apart from other buffet restaurants that I’ve been to was that all drinks were included in the price as well, beer, cocktails, wine, juice and soft drinks – as much as one wanted. I drunk five cocktails. They were quite small and weak though, so I wasn’t even a little drunk. The beer on tap was Budweiser, but I didn’t have any because I am given beer every time we have dinner with one of Yvonne’s uncles, and I don’t want Yvonne’s parents to think I want beer with every meal. The restaurant was awesome, and I plan to return soon.

Tags: China - 中国, Shanghai - 上海

I haven’t written any blog entries for a while, mainly because I have been busy making the Waikato Golden Key’s website. I have some new website creation plugins for the software I have been using, Rapidweaver. The plugins allow me to do much more, allowing the creation of very pretty websites.

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A few days ago we went into town to meet Yvonne’s friend and her friend’s boyfriend. They were very nice, her friend’s English was pretty good. After we met up the boyfriend and I were told to follow them around, while they looked at makeup. During this time, I attempted conversation with the boyfriend, in Mandarin. It was pretty slow and painful. He eventually tired of standing idly in the makeup store “taking” with me, and suggested we get a drink of juice from the store opposite. He gave me the menu and told me to choose something, and I chose “火龙果风菠萝”, or “Fire Dragon Pineapple”. I chose it because the name sounded interesting. It turned out that “Fire Dragon” is actually “Fire Dragon Fruit”, or Pitaya, which I have never heard of. I thought the drink would be spicy or hot in some other sense, but it was sour. I drank it anyway.

Hours later Yvonne and her friend finished looking at makeup, or ran out of money. I don’t know which. We then went to get dinner, which tasted good. We ordered “Stinky Tofu”, and it was really stinky, like Gouda.

On the way home we went back to the same store, because Yvonne wanted to look around again. In the store I found various New Zealand products. Honey and Lanolin oil. The honey was ludicrously expensive, the most costly example being 860å…ƒ for 500mL. That is around $160. This is the same honey one can buy from Pak ‘n’ Save, for around $5-10. Next time I’ll take some photos as proof.

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Some time before meeting Yvonne’s friend I devised a method by which one can level up a Super Paper Mario character without actually playing. I used a rubber band to attach a nutcracker to the wiimote in such a way that the required button is continually pressed. It works well. I plan to beat the Flopside Pit of 100 Trials sometime, if I get really bored.

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We are going to Beijing today, leaving in two hours. It is snowing in Beijing, which is good because I like snow. We’re sure to see a bunch of interesting stuff, which I will document as much as batteries allow. The train ride will apparently take 8-10 hours, which means that either Beijing is very far away, or the train is very slow.

That is all, I’ll be writing entries each day in Beijing, but I probably won’t be able to upload them until I return, in about a week.

Tags: Beijing - 北京, China - 中国, Shanghai - 上海

After eating lunch Yvonne wanted to look at some more makeup. I waited outside the shop for most of the time, because they were playing dreaded Christmas carols. I blacked out for a while, so I’m not sure how long Yvonne spent in the store.

The walk from the mall to the “Wild Insects Museum” was as short one. When we arrived we saw that it was 40å…ƒ per person. We thought that was a little too much to pay for some insects, so I tried to sneak a peek inside, to determine its worthiness. I couldn’t get a good look, but we decided to pay and go in anyway.

OMG the stench!

By this time we were starting to feel the loss of 80å…ƒ. The next area consisted of a long pool that had a walkway running over it. The pool was filled with Koi and Goldfish. Half-way along the walkway was a fish pellet dispenser, from which we bought another bag of pellets. We felt pretty dumb for wasting all of our fish food on the Goldfish in the first pool, and for spending so much money. One area of the pool was sealed off, and had some small Crocodiles living in it. They didn’t move much, even when we threw fish pellets at them, and I wondered if they were real. Later, on our way out, I noticed that one was in a different position. Either they were real, or someone is being paid to periodically shift some fakes.

At the walkway’s termination there were a lot of small terrariums, which housed snakes. There were many different types. Across from the snakes there were three large cages, which housed small monkeys. The monkeys were very cute, and climbed about a lot. I thought it a rather cruel joke to play on both the monkeys and the snakes, putting them directly opposite one another.

We turned a corner and found a large number of terrariums, most of which contained dead insects. A lot of the insects looked very nasty, like the Golden Scorpion, from Israel, purportedly the most poisonous in the world. Another hideous beast of note was the large centipede. Everyone hates centipedes. Amongst the dead terrariums of dead insects there were some live ones, and a few aquatic themed tanks. One had newts, another large water beetles, which are also disgusting. At the end of this section there was a tank of jellyfish. The tank had a colour-changing light shining into it, which made the jellies look very bright. It was entertaining.

Beyond the jelly tank we were surprised to find a staircase leading down. It lead to the turtle and lizard area. Turtles all look pretty much the same, and there isn’t much I can say about lizards, other than they are interesting to look at, not to read about (unless you’re me). There were a lot of both turtles and lizards, and they were all quite active.

After the turtles there was a large pool that was teeming with small goldfish. It had stones all over it such that one could walk around easily. There was also a swinging bridge, and a fake waterfall.

There was a little side room that had an owl, some bats, some goats, hamsters and rabbits, all in separate cages. Putting a large owl in the same room as rabbits and hamsters must have been another subtle joke. All of the animals were very clean and looked healthy. The goats were friendly and let us pet them, Yvonne needed reassuring that they weren’t going to leap over their fence and maul her. The cutest thing we saw were the miniature russian hamsters, which were about the size of large mice. They were exceedingly cute, and it took a few tries to convince Yvonne that she should ask her parent’s before buying one. The keeper happened to be in the room at the same time as us, he and Yvonne chatted about the hamsters. He was a very nice man, and it was evident that he really loved the little hamsters. He got one out to show us, and let us hold and pet it. It didn’t seem frightened that it was being manhandled by creatures 200 times its size. It just sat in our hands and cleaned itself. I repeat, they were very cute.

The final area was one in which people could make their own keepsake, from standard arts & craft materials. Needless to say, we did not participate.

After the expectation-lowering experience of the first exhibit, the monkeys and snakes were really impressive. It got better as we went along, going from something I’d take a naughty child to as a punishment, to a fun and interesting place. I think we spent about two and a half hours wandering around. In the end I think it was worth it, even reasonably priced. The staff that we saw obviously cared about the animals, and did their best to keep the place clean. Yvonne observed that as the entire facility must be kept quite warm and humid, because of the origin of many of the animals, smells would be very difficult to control. Ferrets are quite smelly at the best of times.

Wild Insect Museum: recommended.

Tags: Animals - 动物, China - 中国, Cute - 可爱, Shanghai - 上海, 猴子, 老鼠, 蛇

I like fish very much, and wanted to be able to spend as long as I wanted looking at them. It was for this reason that we left early. Unfortunately this meant that we were traveling during peak time. To get to the nearest subway station, one can either walk for a couple of hours or take a bus. Yvonne’s parent’s housing compound has its own bus, which has two stops: the compound, and the subway station. This is good because it means that it is never as full as the pubic buses, which stop every two minutes and accumulate passengers more quickly than … a thing that accumulates other things quite quickly. The bus itself is rather low quality though, as the housing compound doesn’t make enough from it to keep it in good shape.

The subway station was flooded with people who were all wearing one of three sets of clothes: dress jacket, black pants, black shoes; coloured “sports” jacket, sneakers, jeans; or a suit. This made keeping track of Yvonne simple, as she was the only one wearing pink. I don’t really mind the crowds so much, as a big crowd provides me with many opportunities to shove people out of my way. People seem to be used to it. Yvonne and I always get on buses quicker than the average commuter, thanks to me either pushing her through the crowd, or elbowing my way along. As can be seen in the photo, people cram themselves into public transport vehicles quite tightly.

We transferred from line 1 to line 2, then got off at the wrong stop. One pays when entering the subway station, and then again when leaving, meaning that one could pay 2å…ƒ in the morning, ride the subway all day, then pay 2å…ƒ at night, if one so desired. We didn’t want to do that, but were glad we didn’t have to pay extra for a silly mistake. At the correct stop I saw an interesting thing on one of the walls, and took a series of bad photos of it.

The Shanghai Aquarium was just across the road from the subway station. I think it cost over 100å…ƒ per person, which was quite expensive. No matter, fish are worth any price (so long as that price is less than 150å…ƒ). The toilets were acceptably clean.

The first area was what I would term an “introductory area” that served to remind forgetful customers that they had entered a large aquarium. The first area one was herded into consisted of various small tanks surrounding a large open pool, which housed a number of dogfish. There were some smaller dogfish trapped in what looked like blue plastic washing baskets. Customers were allowed to pet these lucky dogfish, and Yvonne did so. The small tanks housed … small sharks. A lot of them were boring, small brown dogfish clones, so I didn’t photograph those. I took a few photos of the more interesting ones though.

The next area had four large displays around the wall, with a cylindrical display in the center of the room. The cylindrical display contained some kind of special fish, and this was the first time it had been displayed publicly in Asia. I can’t say if the fish looked like anything special or not, as we weren’t allowed any closer than 1.5 meters. If there wasn’t a guard hovering around I would have jumped the barrier and had a better look, but there was, so I didn’t. We did break the rules later though. The displays along the wall were: sturgeon + some other fish; alligator/crocodile + ducks + some fish; some very large and strange four legged amphibian + fish; some fish (large). The sturgeons looked interesting. Typically, the alligators/crocidiles didn’t move. Ducks are lame. The very large amphibians were over one meter in length, but didn’t move at all. I would hate to encounter one while swimming, though I don’t know if they could cause any damage. The large fish were nice to look at.

Dream Companion

Next area was Australian. This area didn’t have many displays compared to the others, probably because Australia is mostly desert. The tunnel was lame, the inhabitants of the tunnel tank were drab. Also there was a model crocodile/alligator, which fooled me for a few minutes, until I realised, Crikey! It’s a fake! There were two interesting tanks in the Australian area, one contained a lot of Rainbow fish, the other a Sawfish. Sawfish are great. It looked like it had a hedge-trimmer blade stuck to its face. I took a video of the Sawfish. The Rainbow fish were not worthy of video, as they are available in aquarium stores, unlike Sawfish. Saw(fish) III!. Ouch that one was lame.

Just after the Australian area I realised that I could change the ISO on Yvonne’s camera. This meant that I could take much sharper photos, so I demanded we return to the start. To return to the start we had to jump the barrier and walk up the escalator that runs through the Australian tunnel. This was the rule-breaking I mentioned earlier.

After better photos of the first areas, we moved on to the African segment. This had only one tank, so I didn’t bother giving it its own photo category. The tank was nice though, heavily populated with fish. A lot of them were brightly coloured, and I imagine many would be quite tasty. When fried and drizzled with lemon juice, of course.

Arctic followed the laughable African area. This had a display containing Penguins, which everyone loves. There was a tank filled with weird crabs, which looked like some kind of crap alien. There was another tunnel here, with Sealions. I took a lot of photos of one of the Sealions, because it was banging its head against the glass. This is standard Sealion behaviour, and is Sealion for: “Oh glorious Mike, thank you for gracing my cesspool with your presence! How may I serve?” “At ease, my greasy minion,” I telepathically sent, “I will call for your services when the time is right.”

Onwards, to the sea. This area held displays for both the sea and the sea shore. One tank housed a large number of Horseshoe crabs, which look odd. I think it is mating season, because I’m quite sure they were mating. One couple had flipped themselves onto their backs, and were flailing their legs in failed attempts to right themselves. Ha ha ha. There were Seahorses in the next tank, and some brightly coloured fish in another. A tank opposite to the brightly coloured fish had a lot of Shark eggs displayed. One could see the developing Sharks wriggling about inside their egg cases. Another tank had Lionfish, which are nice to look at. The highlight of this area though, was the Jellyfish tank. The rear of the tank was painted blue, which gave the impression that one was gazing into an infinite sea. Actually the tank was only about 40 cm deep. For some reason the Jellies were all swimming downwards.

The crown jewel of this aquarium is their 155 meter tunnel, which comes last. The tunnel runs through four separate tanks, each of which house different types of fish. I took videos of each. When shooting the video for the Shark tunnel, I thought I had set the camera to video mode, and pressed record. I then proceeded to walk slowly through the tunnel, moving the camera as if I was shooting a video, which I wasn’t. I didn’t realise that I hadn’t been recording until I had walked through that entire section of tunnel, and when I did, I had to go back and do it properly.

At the end of the tunnel, there were two Aquarium employees handing out scratch tickets. We scratched out ticket, and saw we had won the “Starfish prize”. The other prizes were listed on the back of the ticket, and were all similarly named. I assumed we had one a starfish shaped key ring. We walked to the counter labelled “prize claim”, and handed over our ticket. The woman we handed it to started a sales spiel about how we were now eligible for a 50% discount on the gift shop’s low quality jewelry. I laughed and said no, and wandered off. That type of thing is very common in China, one has to keep one’s guard up, else run out of money fast.

After this we had lunch, which tasted good. I ordered the “麻麻辣辣牛肉饭”, or “Spicy beef meal.” The meal had three chilli symbols beside it on the menu, and was hot enough to warrant them. I had to eat it really fast because it was the type of hot that builds if one is not eating. After I finished I felt funny. Across from us were two Asian looking guys speaking with terrible British accents. It took me a long time to be certain they were speaking English, their accent was so bad. There are some awful English accents.

Lunch finished we went and had a quick look in make-up stores.

Next entry I’ll write about the “Wild Insect Museum.”

Tags: Animals - 动物, China - 中国, Fish, Shanghai - 上海, 鱼

Ok here is the post about the park, I’ve ranted enough about .Mac, I no longer feel like vomiting into an envelope and mailing it to them.

As one does in China, we took the bus to the park. The bus wasn’t hellishly crowded this time, which was a nice change. I amused myself by memorizing the announcement, which is repeated after every stop.

Chinese: “车辆起步请拉好扶手。上车请主动投币。不设另找。请给需要帮助的乘客让个座，谢谢。”

In English it would be: “When the bus starts moving, hold on. When boarding the bus, pay the fare. Don’t forget your things when you get off the bus. If there are old or sick people aboard, give them your seat. Thanks.”

So at the park we finally arrived. Actually, the bus stop was miles away from the park entrance. We had to walk beside the park for some time before finding the entrance. Before we paid, I didn’t understand why the park has such a forboding wall surrounding it. The all comes complete with iron spikes. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t find it difficult to scale, considering my incredible agility.

At the park entrance there were a few knots of street merchants. We bought a kite from the one who yelled at us first, as we respected his enthusiasm. We bought the “vampire” kite, which is not a vampire at all, in fact it is a bat. A bat that looks as if it was assembled by a blind child. Good thing attention to detail doesn’t mean squat when the item under examination is sixty meters above. He even gave us a spool of string for free.

The park ticket cost $2.

The park wasn’t packed, but by New Zealand standards it was quite crowded. There were about three different couples having wedding photos taken that I saw. I’d say the park is a few hectares*, and has a lake in the center. There were a few boats floating around the lake, which looked like fun. We walked around for awhile, until that became boring. When it did, I demanded to be allowed to “ride the boats”. We started to circumnavigate the lake, certain that we’d find the boat rental shack somewhere.

Before that we found a bunch of people fishing. I couldn’t really believe my eyes, people fishing in the centre of Shanghai! There were quite a lot of them too, given the small partition they were fishing in. It didn’t take long for me to realise that the fish they were trying to catch had been introduced to this part of the lake. Turns out that fishing is free, but taking a fish home is 8å…ƒ/gram. Throwing the caught fish back is not allowed, anyone convicted of this crime is required to pay a fine. I took some photos of the anglers.

A short walk later and we had found the boat rental shack. Yvonne read the sign quickly, and I read the prices, because they all use the same numerals as us for numbers, unless one is in a fancy place, in which both Chinese and arabic numerals are used. I don’t know why. The prices were 25å…ƒ or 40å…ƒ. Before actually reading all of the sign, we agreed on the 25å…ƒ boat. Yvonne talked and paid the money, and we stepped onto the dock. The “dock master” took our ticket and led us past the nice looking boats to an area populated by blue pedal driven ones. It was not quite what we’d expected, but we didn’t complain. Pedaling the boat around the lake was quite fun, not totally gay like it sounds. The main reason it wasn’t totally gay was that we were a heterosexual couple. I quickly realised that my pants were too tight, as my testicles began to ache. I solved this by undoing both the button and the fly, and pulling them down a little bit. This made me much more comfortable. Pedaling at a comfortable pace caused the boat to travel slightly faster than the more expensive, electric boats. As the lake was quite large, especially from the perspective of one sitting in a pedal-powered boat, I set my phone alarm so that we’d have plenty of time to get back to the dock before our hour was up. This turned out to be an excellent idea, as Yvonne, the captain, was unable to pilot the boat in a straight line. Instead we’d travel in a series of ‘S’ shapes. I think she did this on purpose because I have been eating too much lately.

Returned boat, recovered bond. Bored of the park now, we headed to KFC. On the way to KFC we passed a kid carrying a rabbit in a tiny cage. I took photos so I could give animal rights activists another whine item. The kid obviously loved his pet, and was very cute. Yvonne asked him what the rabbit’s name was, and the kid said it didn’t have one. Yvonne suggested he call it “rabbit”, and the kid nodded his head. I thought it was a good name. The rabbit-sized cage was another thing one wouldn’t see in New Zealand. Oh the joys of China.

KFC in China, like I’ve said before, is quite a different beast. For NZ$10 we were able to buy the equivalent of two burgers, chips, a potato & gravy, another side, and a pepsi. I think that lot would come to about NZ$20 if purchased from one of the filthy New Zealand stores. Because we’re in China though, the meals are also very different. I had a combo which consisted of: A “twister” as they like to call them (burrito style wrap), that was some strange flavour entitled “Beijing Sauce”, three fish … things, two chicken nibbles and a drink. Yvonne had five chicken wings, some soup and a strange pudding tart thing that I don’t like very much. While we were eating a dog came into the shop, which obviously made the manager’s day. There was a lot of yelling and chasing before it was expelled. It must have fled into KFC in an effort to escape the crazies outside singing their heinous christmas carols. Yes, they have christmas carols in China, and yes, they are just as terrible as the New Zealand ones. I really hate christmas carols.

KFC being eaten, we walked to the Grandma’s house, where dinner was to be had later that night.

Dinner was fun, I was given beer. According to Yvonne, I am an alcoholic, therefore having dinner with her family is the highlight of my trip, as I at dinner I am given beer. I managed to speak with the relatives somewhat successfully this time, as I am no longer afraid they will challenge me to a duel or whatever. Actually I just wasn’t very confident before, as they all speak very swift Shanghainese, making my attempts at conversation feel like I am butting in, since I can’t understand what their conversation is about. I’m still not very confident, but they don’t seem to get angry when I try to talk to them, so I try more often. I’ve managed to crack a few jokes, but as they have to be explained afterwards in fine detail, none of them have been successful yet. I still think they’re funny though, which is the main thing.

Honestly we really are going to the big fish tank tomorrow, so I’ll have some awesome pictures of fish to upload tomorrow night.

*I don’t have any idea how big a hectare is. What I mean is: “the park was pretty big”.

Tags: China - 中国, Culture - 文化, Shanghai - 上海, Travel - 旅游

1 It is filled with Chinese people.
2 Shanghai, at least, is not as dirty/crowded as I was led to believe. Sure there are piles of rubbish around, but one only sees those from the bus/taxi/train, when traveling from a nice area to another nice area. So long as one doesn’t accidentally wander into the “affordable housing” zones, one doesn’t see much rubbish.
3 The selection of ludicrously expensive clothes is vast.
4 I’ve been here for ~2 weeks, and haven’t seen a fight. Not even a shouting match, and I haven’t been pick-pocketed.
5 The police force must be absolutely massive, more often than not there is at least a police car visible. The police often park on a corner and just sit in the car with their lights flashing. In fact, they almost never turn their lights off, just drive around with them flashing all the time. Apparently one is expected to wildly swerve out of the way only if the police car has both the lights and the siren engaged. There are a lot of police on motorbikes here, and pedal-powered officers. I repeat: there are a lot of police here.
6 There are a lot of security guards, everywhere. The housing compound where Yvonne’s parents live is patrolled twenty-four-hours by ex-military security guards. They look mean and carry batons. They also have walky-talkies, which they jabber into non-stop. They are very serious, and don’t seem to take chances. If a delivery vehicle arrives at a gate, for example, the guard there will wave him down, ask the driver where within the compound his delivery is for, then give the driver a time limit to arrive at that residence. The driver is then allowed to proceed. The guard will then radio a fellow guard, who will wander over to the delivery driver’s destination to check that he has indeed gone where he said he would. I don’t know what would happen if the driver was late or got lost, but I doubt it would be fun for him. There are a lot of guards, and I imagine they get bored patrolling, and would relish a good bashing. I doubt the police would take the delivery driver’s side in this instance, either.
7 There are “crossing-wardens” at almost every zebra crossing in the shopping areas. They stand on either side of the road with whistles in their mouths, augmenting the red/green crossing lights. If someone attempts to jay walk, the warden will grab them and push them back onto the foot path. When the light goes green the warden checks everything is OK, then waves the crossers over the road. All of this is necessary, given the complete lack of attention drivers pay to pedestrians. They will just drive slowly through the crowd of people crossing the road, beeping their horn wildly. It’s not so bad when the cars do this, what one has to watch out for is the scooters and bikes. They go much faster, expecting to be able to weave through the crowd. I told Yvonne that if it looks like one is going to hit me, I’m going to do my damnedest to jump out of the way and then kick them off their bike/scooter.
8 To qualify for a drivers license in China, one must be competent at controlling one’s vehicle, have good eyesight and hearing, and be totally insane. A couple of days ago, Yvonne and I took a bus home from town. The bus was pretty standard for that route (different routes have different buses, depending on who runs that route), big dents all up the walls, scratched windows, brand-new LCD screens displaying adverts, coughing wheezing raving-lunatic driver. Not only did the driver speed (it seems buses/taxies are given some leeway with regards to the speed limits), he weaved in and out of traffic! He passed other buses, trucks, cars… Oh and like all drivers in China, he honked the horn incessantly, even when there was nothing in the way. As far as safe driving goes, all of the above is pretty far out, but this is the best part: the driver would drive in the center of the road (where the left-most right and the right-most left lanes ran side-by-side), for long stretches of road. A few times other buses/cars had to swerve out of the way, when they realised this guy wasn’t kidding around. During all this, no-one batted an eye. Before I return to New Zealand I’ll rent a taxi and take a five minute video of “normal” driving in China, to prove I’m not on LCD 24/7. Seriously, forget amusement rides, come experience the real thing.
9 If one is planning on spending the day in town, one needs to plan when and how much to drink. The toilets in China range from luxury to hole in the ground. In most public toilets that are not inside a large mall, one is required to part with coin, or not wipe. There is usually a happy “sales attendant” sitting at a table in the “lobby” of the public toilet who sells toilet paper.
10 Chinese people never cease to be amazed at a white person using chopsticks as well as them, and will always say so. This gets old quickly. Humans are creatures that are able to learn things, motor tasks can be learned especially well. The use of chopsticks is a motor task. Ergo any human, with practice, should be able to master them without too much difficulty. Using chopsticks is not an art.

I could probably make more observations like that, but they’d get increasingly lame so I’ll stop there. We’re going to Hangzhou tomorrow. I know nothing about Hangzhou, it is a place somewhere in China that we are going to travel to on a train. I’m looking forward to the train ride.

Tags: China - 中国, Culture - 文化, Shanghai - 上海, Travel - 旅游